There is a substantial concern regarding women's safety in gyms, with many asserting the need for secure, harassment-free environments. Although some users share positive experiences in supportive gyms, a significant number voice frustration over unwanted male attention and inappropriate behavior. The community advocates for enhanced security measures and gender-specific spaces, highlighting the societal issue of harassment and the importance of consent.

Gym Management

Fitness Trainers

Gym-goers

The only time I felt nervous at an unmanned gym was when the entire gym was glass so everybody on the outside could see in. I was usually the only one there so anybody driving/walking by could see I was by myself. 
That being said I currently use another 24/7 gym that's unmanned at night and have no issues. 

mully1121

I go to the gym sometime between the hours of 11pm and 2am every other day, I live in a city centre and its a 10 minute walk there and back. I get more nervous on the walk than I do in the gym, once I'm inside I feel much safer. It's just like being there during the day, just the people in there have a strange sleep schedule (most of them work nights/late jobs). Most of the people there at that time aren't assholes and most of the equipment is free!

Also if you go at that time regularly, you'll notice the regulars that are there too and they'll look out for you. A lot of the guys that go to my gym at that time are big and scary looking but they say hello to me every time I go and are generally lovely people. Also 24h gyms usually have cameras and mine has cleaning staff that visit every couple of hours.

abra-sumente

I go to a gym with 24/7 access for keycard holders (but that holds normal manned hours). I've never felt unsafe personally but that's just me. You probably have a higher chance of hurting yourself on the equipment vs. being attacked by another gymgoer at that time. 

On that note, if you're lifting alone, be sure to take safety precautions! Always use safeties! Don't use clips when you're benching if you don't have safeties, and get comfortable with the roll of shame! Learn how to fail safely in case you one day have to.

[deleted]

I go to one and it is actually really nice. I'm there mostly during odd hours and it is pretty much empty every time. There is usually(?) also a locked area specific for women in case that would make you feel safer.

I LOVE my 24/7 gym and have never felt threatened at all. The peace and quiet is so nice. 

As /u/FitCalan mentioned, you're pretty unlikely to be attacked or killed by a stranger if that is what you're worried about. 

As well, I have been going to various gyms for more than a decade and never been harassed or bothered except one offside comment by two old men about how I would look in chaps. 

Instead of looking for stories where someone felt unsafe, which will just give you a confirmation bias, go check the place out and try it for a month. If you don't like it, don't continue. 

I_am_the_Batgirl

I used to go to one (changed gyms because I moved) after late shifts at work, there were a couple dudes who'd workout together regularly, sometimes one, at most two other people. I saw the occasional other girl but mostly guys. I never really had a problem, everyone kept to themselves. The gym had personal alarms that you could keep with you while you were working out, as well as cameras and a 24-7 phone number, but I never carried the alarm, never had to use the phone or anything. My mom was more worried about it than me, tbh.

meggiemae

Just go in and talk to the staff about security and if there are cameras, etc. Keep your phone on you if you don't feel safe. TBH, you probably don't have anything to worry about.

meggielifts

["In some cases the women do not know their attacker, but in the vast majority of cases women are killed in their own home by someone they know."](http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-04-13/murder-victims-relatives-attack-epidemic-violence-against-women/6389890)

You should go to the gym.  Cameras, and you're surrounded by strangers who have no reason to want you dead?  Sounds like the safest place there is.

FitCalan

I imagine there is no legal basis, but no one cares. I go to a women's college that was sued to become co ed a few decades ago. There was some controversy because it was considered a "safe" space for women and men already had most colleges, but it was discrimination regardless. With a female only gym I imagine it's a bit different, especially since boys could take classes here not offered at the co ed college nearby until my school was opened up, but it's a safe space for women who feel vulnerable pr harassed and may even have a history of sexual assault.

So simply put, probably illegal but there haven't been issues yet

You can have gender-segregated or one-gender-only private institutions.  This is because the whole point of the organization is to be for women.  If they want to have a women's club, they shouldn't be forced to accept men.  It's similar to how Girl Scouts only accepts girls, I think.  Is there a double standard?  In a way, yes.  Having a men's only club will seem sexist. 

At the same time, if you wanted a whites only club, you'd be branded racist even if it might not be true.  A blacks only or an Asians only club wouldn't be considered racist.

Edit for grammaz

SilentCicada

Also, why is BET not racist? If there was a WET I bet everyone would say it was racist.

loqi0238

This might shock you but its not illegal to discriminate based on sex, religious preference, sexual orientation or skin color. Private business are allowed to serve/not serve whomever they wish for whatever reason they want. The only thing is you cant discriminate for employment, housing or education but there are a lot of ways to get around that

LewdCrudeChewedFood

i have no idea, but I knew a man that actually rented an apartment above a female only exercise establishment and drilled holes through his floor. Like he couldn't find a strip joint?

longagofaraway2

Wait a second, establishing a club/organization/whatever by your own means, with your own money and choosing who you'd like as the members of said club are now illegal? Why? The whole point is creating a safe, welcoming environment for people who want to get together by their own free will and do whatever they want, who has the right to tell those people they shouldn't have this place and organization?

I don't think having "female only" gyms are anything but simply people exercising their rights of freely choosing who they want to spend time with, and someone coming along and providing the place and equipment, for a fee. In the same vein, I think that white/black/men/women/druggies/virgins clubs only are exactly the same thing (whether you agree or disagree with their practices, beliefs or reasons for getting together doesn't matter, freedom of thought and of association are more important than that), and it comes as a shock to me to learn that it's apparently illegal to do so in America.

I didn't expect it to be the "land of the free" but Jesus, Mary and Joseph, this is just awful!

D-Casta

I actually heard about that yesterday. I don't see how it is allowable to have female-only gyms. The fuck is wrong with society that men should be banned from some gyms? ohh wait...

thefutureisfixed

Lawyer here, and I do anti-discrimination cases.

There are usually exceptions in the law for women-only gyms, because they are considered to have a legitimate purpose.  There would be no legitimate reason to have a whites-only gym.  You couldn't have, say, a women-only restaurant, because there would be no legitimate reason to exclude men from that.

And even though men can't join a small number of gyms, there are a huge number of gyms they can join, so the negative effects on men are insignificant.

Whites-only clubs are legal if they are private.  You can open a private club and admit whoever you want.  But if your club is open to the public, you aren't allowed to discriminate.

ShinjukuAce

I've actually been wondering this for a while, and you're the guy I'm asking: if there WAS a "Curves" for men, what would you call it? 

bonerwashington

If there are plenty of places for men to exercise, why does it matter?  Many women are intimidated by men in a gym and may feel harassed, or actually be harassed.  What is wrong with having a space where they feel comfortable?  If they are exercising and being healthy, is it really that big of a deal?    

jessper17

Business-Socks

lucifargundam

A skilled lawyer could probably get a judge to rule it illegal.

savoytruffle

* Your post title should be an accurate summary of your text post. "Help Needed", "Rant", "Unpopular Opinion", are examples of poor titles. 
* /r/India is not a substitute for Google. Only post your query on /r/India after you have searched for an answer on the web.  
* Self-posts als#Rule 149 | o have to be specific to India. Don't copy/paste questions from /r/AskReddit. 
* For relationship queries, please also consider: https://www.reddit.com/r/RelationshipIndia/


*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/india) if you have any questions or concerns.*

AutoModerator

Share the senior's number with Bajaj finance.

VidShala

Don't be shy share his number here so we can call him at 3 am and ruin his sleep 🥸🥸🥸

Some guys think "No" doesn't exist, or maybe ego hurt ho jati.

You should report him to the college authorities if he ever misbehaves.

saakash65

Something similar had happened with my best friend's sister. She was in class 10th back then(she was 16).
This motherfucker kept on calling her from different numbers. We got to know. Made his numbers public amongst our college friends and a few more acquaintances. Made them aware of what was happening. Let us say, I'm pretty sure that guy broke all his Sim cards(he was probably using a few friends' numbers).

this is wrong on so many levels. you haven’t done anything wrong, yet you’re the one who has to end up changing gyms.

cosmic-kid

Back when I was in school, a friend of mine, a girl told us that a guy has been calling and harassing her. She gave me the number, I called that guy. He brushed it off, as I sounded like a kid, I sounded like a girl on phone too. Started harassing me. I gave that number to one of my older cousin, blasted that guy on phone, found his address(just 2 km) from our school. We didn’t find who gave him the girl’s number, but was sure someone from our class did.

justsenin

It's sad to see, ppl stooping to such a low degree to gain attention. I mean both the guys (the gym trainer and your senior) clearly don't understand the meaning of BOUNDARY, but it is the harsh reality with most men . Report his ass to the cyber cell ASAP.

I'm sorry you have to go through these things. I feel like men in India are losing their shits when it comes to not bothering women. Fuck, people try to talk with my wife even when she's with me and two-three more of my male friends. 

And a whole lot of the blame of this stuff goes to movies. All my female friends have complained the how the men/boys have bothered them which is really harrasment. 

From proposing multiple times to finally saying yes because of the fear of what they will do, it to being chased on bike to "just wanted to talk" screams Indian movies all over. 

"Ladki ke na mai bhi ha hota hai" whoever came with this bs has our already brain-dead people doing things that would be considered as harassment anywhere else. 

One of my friend wanted to visit India (she's from Serbia) i straight ahead told her a big fucking no. 

What can we do to make this better though?

There was this movie in Marathi - sairat - quite popular. The whole moto of the movie was to show how complicated things can get if you run away at early age with your partner. 

Guess what the younger people did? Eloped with their partner. 

A fucking movie character has more influence than education, manner to our people.

abhijeetsskamble

I’m so sorry that happened to you. You did do the right thing telling your dad and the cyber cell. Definitely let the gym know, it’s their responsibility to keep this information private. Their response to this will at the very least tell you if you need to change the gym or if they’re strict about not letting assholes into their space. If you ever run into him at your Uni and he doesn’t understand boundaries, you and your dad should definitely take it up with the Uni’s disciplinary board. 

Something similar happened with a friend when we were in college. The guy found her number on a contact sheet for a club. We found out later when she told us that she had been avoiding him since the beginning of the semester. He literally went to their meeting to see her. Calls became frequent, she blocked him everywhere she could. He tried approaching in person a couple of times after that to get her to unblock him. We literally warned him to stay away otherwise we will let the disciplinary committee know. He didn’t stop, so we did it. They called his parents. He ended up transferring at the end of the year.

Edit: At the risk of sounding like another mansplainer with a long ass reply, TL;DR, let them find out if they’re so fond of fucking around

A_man49

Why does the gym need your number? Or anyone's number.
We , so conveniently give our contact details at supermarkets and malls and macdonalds.
This is not necessary.

I too was earlier under the impression that personal details are needed . But, that's not true .

purohit977

SpikyNova

Pass his number...we will take care of him 😈

Lusty men everywhere..i think its kinda common in India

texthulk

Dudes seen too many movies, he probably still doesn’t realize that you were turned off by this and probably thinks he was being romantic

Top-Needleworker-157

The sad part is these kind of things are normalized in movies - Bollywood or other Indian movie industries. They show the hero as some kind of hustler who worked hard to get the number to harrass the girl because of true love or shit. These kinds of stalking and toxic traits are praised in movies and people think it's cool. 

Call out these people. Complain to women's cell etc. Let them get a call from the police to stop the harrassment.

Punemann95

Warn that senior bluntly that if he tries to connect with you in any capacity, you'll escalate the matter to the authorities or management or the police.

awara_bakchod

OP these guys are everywhere that's why I moved to a women's only gym. Luckily I found a good one. Look for women's only gyms or gyms that have separate timings for women. And if you are not able to find one go when your gym is packed yes waiting for equipment is a hassle but at least you will be safe.

Soft-Gold-7979

When will these guys understand consent?.  Why is that much desperation. Touchwood, but in my friend circle, every person is decent and knows the limits.

Aggressive-Shake538

I used to go to a uni sex gym. In the mornings and afternoons, they have only women's timing and in the evening it was uni sex. 
I used to go there in the evening so I could work out with my friends and because I preferred this particular trainer who was there only in the evenings. 
There was this guy who always used to stare disgustingly and he always made me so uncomfortable. One day I was on the leg press and came and sat right in front of me, on a bench. And he kept staring. And you know the position we're in in a leg press. He kept staring at my ass and everything. Even feels disgusting to type. I had half of my work out left. But I got up, gathered my things and left and never came to that gym in the evening. 
I hate men like that. And the men who see what is happening and not speak up. Fucking sexually frustrated disgusting assholes.

power-trip7654

I'm sorry you went through this. We (men) suck.

tellkrish

Don't equate women safety with your narcissism, I live in Germany and women are more approachable here than india, and it's quite normal even here in clubs ,parks and uni to come up to you complement you and even ask for your number,even women themselves do it.yeah he was wrong about stealing your number without your consent,but asking for your number itself isn't harassment, maybe you didn't like his face  and that's why you scream harassment here . There is a difference.

ScarlMarx

Please inform someone in your uni also. Your HoD and his HoD. So if some confrontation happens later, you'll have a back story that people already know.

CheesecakeGobbler

A minister guilty of assault and rape is out on bail giving press conference on Manipur rape. This is the state of India. The govt has sent a clear signal, and that signal is, assaulting a woman is okay.

ConcernedHumanDroid

Oh man I have a better solution for this give his number to the higras and let them tell him they got it from you. I'll tell u they will take care of him like he would regret his life for taking your number

Bdr0b0t

Same thing happened to me as well. First a creepy trainer. I changed the gym and in the next one one of the guys who used to come to the gym dug up my number from the register and called me. Ugh ! They have no concept of boundaries !

goblin2367

preferenceisbed

Ignorant American here.  I have always heard that this kind of harassment and worse is a serious epidemic in India.  Is it embellished or is it really as bad as we hear?

the concept of unisex gym is doomed to fail, just like toilets we need seperate gym.

cuddaloreappu

inilashremot

Kind lady please invest in some pepper spray, rampuri knife and if you have the contacts then a fucking gun. At the next sighting of this creep, blow his head off

I had the harrowing experience recently, I posted here (later deleted) - took a cab from airport and the driver said he wants to pick up a friend, I refused then without any heads up he picked up that friend anyway and then they both were acting very creepy. His friend was looking over his shoulders and staring at me, singing obscene songs and making obscene noises. I somehow managed to get down from the car. Uber hasn't yet replied to my report.

Worse, after I posted here there were nasty DMs stuff like how I am 'damaging India's reputation' , 'sob story', 'victim card' etc.

Going through the gym register to get your number is creepy.
I dont think you need to do anything. If you run into him again, you can just tell him you do not feel comfortable talking to him anymore and would appericiate if he can respect that.

I don't think gyms were ever safe. Most of the people I know, including myself, have had pretty scarring experiences. Long ago I used to go to this decent gym in my area. I was young, inexperienced, and honesty stupid because I had no idea how to respond to such situations. He used to make kissing sounds and send flying kisses to me when he thought I wasn't looking. Trying to 'help' with the movements is rather common. I didn't have the courage to speak up or report and simply stopped going. Makes me more mad at myself, now that I look back.

Lavender_94_s

1) Report gym for revealing your info without your permission

2) give us his number. I have a script to bring hell to him everyday

Economy_Sock_4045

Electrical_Tension

If i were u, I’d paste his number in some male public toilets under the headline “For a good time call “insert his name”.

Pritmann909

Indian men and harassment, just another days news ☕️ (disclaimer I’m an Indian man and just laughing at our misfortune to be represented by such creeps)

heretic27

I am fed up with these guys not having any sense of fear or nervousness before they openly harassing women like this.

Law and rules are a joke in India and our elders keep on voting for political parties who don't care one bit about women safety.

I wouldn't mind the harshest punishments for merely catcalling women on the street. 

Catcalling - 10 yrs rigorous punishment ;

Inappropriate touching - chopping off of hands ;

Sexual assault - death in full public view

If we seriously want to create fear amongst the culprits, these laws must be implemented and no political party ignoring women issues must be brought to power.

Enough of this nonsense!

Infinite_Pattern_466

U can sue the gym for leaking private information

alv0694

I have seen the same happening to girls in gyms of my city people behaving weirdly even if u like someone random you should get their no. from registration and call randomly. another level🤣

outlierkk

Effect of all the Bollywood movies and Srikrishna stories where stalking and grabbing dress is glorified.

pramodrsankar

romeoboom

Hairy_Demand_6974

You should definitely sue and File an Official Report to the Gym. They should not leak a members personal info without their permission.

General_Yt

Most Indian men know that when a woman say No it means a secret Yes because how Indian society treat women who fall in the first attempt. So they are just easing your problem /s

DinnerJoke

Physical_Debate_854

Share his number here and let’s irritate him , lol that will be fun

Impossible_Brick_12

Title should be 'my bad experience at the gym', most good gyms I've seen are very women friendly.

chocoboyc

As a man it's a sad plight to see. Just block his number for now. If he calls you from some other number, file a case against him for harassment. Good luck!!

Jacobjef

Nevermind_kaola

That gym trainer is what happens is when your only contact with women is pornography.

PatienceHere

One of my work friend was also getting called by a random guy who would slur obscenities to her and she was visibly disturbed.

I do a great woman impression, we were having a small party one day and she told me this. And right on cue , he called, i talked to him in a woman voice first , then changed to male voice and we took turns cussing him.  Hasn't called since

Regalia_BanshEe

That's why I don't go to gyms at all and I am a man. Gyms are extortion centres really. To go there and face sexual harrasment in addition to extortion is too much of a hassle really.

chiguy_1

Puzzleheaded-Dark387

I think you should try the cops. I have seen how they usually give such guys extra treatment at the station. Dont be scared. You have done nothing wrong. I was from a tier 3 city..if there is such a thing, my friend's sister was about to get married. Her ex called up her would be husband and threatened him, they complained to the cops and the cops called him to the station, shut the gate and beat the crap out of the ex in front of his dad. My friends family is not well to do or had no contacts that one might think that could be the reason for their prompt action.  I know cops have a bad image but you should not be scared of using all the help available to you, especially when you are right.

ManNo786

These kind of behaviour are glorified in the movies, especially in the south.

Hemanath_S

Indians learning all the wrong things from the West

coocoointhehead

Join cultfit. It's more managed than these one off gyms

the_good_brat

It’s sadly the sad situation of women in Indian gym. These trainers or even gym dudes will try everything in their book to get in your pants or to use you in every way possible. Some trainers I know would try to date rich woman to sponsor their lifestyle ( I am guilt of same 🙂)

Now I do not make any talk with anyone in the gym. I keep my headphones on all the time and do not entertain any gym dude message over Instagram. Also prefer to go gym when it has relatively less people.

I feel so sorry for all who have to go through this

/u/maliknetwork (OP) has awarded 1 delta(s) in this post.

All comments that earned deltas (from OP or other users) are listed [here](/r/DeltaLog/comments/1mvxmh0/deltas_awarded_in_cmv_women_should_have_women/), in /r/DeltaLog.

Please note that a change of view doesn't necessarily mean a reversal, or that the conversation has ended.

^[Delta System Explained](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/wiki/deltasystem) ^| ^[Deltaboards](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/wiki/deltaboards)

DeltaBot

Its troubling how little research there actually is into this topic. There's a lot of *intentions* in some sense, but not a lot of research into actual changes in safety. 

&gt;Safety and comfort. Many women don't feel safe getting into a car with a stranger, especially a male stranger, or working out in a gym where they could be harassed

I see this quite often; it may *feel* safer, but is it actually? I rarely see good answers or even attempts at answering the question of *actual* safety. For example, gender segregated bathrooms would make it more likely to be alone. This has obvious problems in terms of safety. The *concern* for safety can be plausibly counter-productive, instead increasing actual danger. Or not, doesn't seem like there's been much research into it. I'd be interested if someone else could provide some.

&gt;Anyhow, the general premise of my argument is that I think women only options should be more widely available in many services (e.g., Uber, Lyft), gyms, or similar settings, and no one should complain about that.

I would caution simply assuming women-only spaces are safer without meaningful evidence. It could be effective, sure, but could also performative. Say, designing bathrooms as multiple, gender neutral single-seat bathrooms is likely safer but not often discussed or explored. The palliative policy is simply a distraction from a better one. At worst, gender segregation could be counter-productive increasing danger instead.

Fit-Order-9468

Well, first we need to establish a couple things. 

The "Woman only" options provided by Lyft/Uber not only allow a female passenger to request a female driver, they also allow female drivers to indicate/specify that they will **exclusively** accept female passengers. 

The biggest complaint I've seen and heard from actual men who are familiar with the issue is that there is no equivalent "male-only" option available, and male drivers aren't able to specify that they will only accept male passengers. 

Now, in terms of arguments against it - if we're just going to open the gate to segregation and discrimination... then we need to do it for everyone, not just one select group. Like...I thought discrimination was a bad thing? But if it's a woman discriminating against a man...that logic just goes right out the window? 

In the US, commercial goods and services available to consumers are regulated by the Uniform Commercial Code and other Federal Statutes. These laws/regulations state unequivocally that discrimination based on protected characteristics such as sex, race, or religion are unlawful. I'm not saying that this is right or wrong, that's simply what the law states. 

Uber/Lyft contract out to drivers to provide a *commercial* ride-sharing *service.* As a commercial service, they are subject to laws regarding discrimination. 

From what I understand, both Riders &amp; Drivers can deny a ride-request on a per-instance basis, which kind of addresses the safety aspect, as you can simply cancel the request if the situation seems sketchy. 

&gt;Women only options don't take away options for anyone. For example, men still have all the regular services available. It just adds an extra layer of choice for women who want it.

I'm sorry what? The word "only" pretty much refutes the remainder of this statement. It is, by its very nature, exclusionary.

The option excludes male drivers the opportunity to provide the service and earn income based solely on their sex.

The option excludes male passengers the ability to utilize a service that they're seeking based solely on their sex.

So yeah, if we're going to bring back segregation... let's do it whole-hog and not piecemeal.

Agreeable_Scar_5274

How would you feel about a men's only gym? If you think that is ridiculous, than you cannot hold the arguement that women deserve special treatment. If men's only spaces are also allowed then it makes sense that women only spaces are allowable

wolfofoakley

How do you enforce who identifies as a woman? Ultimately that's the challenge with all of these spaces, either you're relying on people to self enforce our you have to have someone enforcing, and either way comes with significant drawbacks

nuggets256

It’s an easy statistical argument to make that this should be allowed since men commit the vast majority of violent crimes.

However, I’m sure you can easily see how this might become problematic if you apply it in other areas. What if I have a company that doesn’t want to employ men due to the risk of sexual harassment? You are essentially talking about discrimination. You might respond by saying that it should be limited to the customer side, but what if a customer thinks that a certain race or religion is more likely to be unsafe? Should they be able to filter by that?

BitcoinMD

The Allahabad High Court raised grave concerns regarding the safety of women being trained by male instructors in gyms amid allegations of harassment.

Women Safety in Gyms and Legal Concerns

Why This Matters

Public Sentiment Summary

Highlighted Comments

Parties Involved

What the people want